Author: Kimberly Poovey

The conversation about transgender and non-binary kids in America right now is, to put it lightly, a bit fraught. Misinformation is rampant, and it seems like everyone is looking for a boogyman to take aim at. So let’s take some time to cut through the noise, gather some data, and come out on the other side with real, accurate information that we can all move forward with. 

To start, let us never forget that every single trans and non-binary kid is just a kid. They play. They go to school. They have friends. They have hobbies and interests and a favorite flavor of ice cream. Kids are amazing, smart, and creative, and each and every one of them is a precious and valuable member of society. Kids, even very young ones, also know themselves better than you might think.

To make sure we are all on the same page, a quick definition: a transgender person is someone who identifies as a different gender than they were assigned at birth. A non-binary person might identify as both male and female, neither male nor female, or some combination of the two. None of these gender identities define or describe a person’s sexual orientation, and “transgender” is the T in LGBTQ.

Now, let’s bust some myths:

Myth: Trans children are receiving irreversible medical treatment.

This is absolutely false. Gender-affirming care for children is often as simple as using their chosen pronouns and chosen name and allowing them to wear clothing that matches their gender expression. According the GLAAD, “care for minors includes social transition for youth who have yet to go through puberty, including using correct pronouns, names and titles (“daughter” or “son”), as well as allowing authentic gender expression (hair, clothes, shoes, etc.). Puberty blockers can be prescribed as a child reaches puberty to pause the unwanted physical effects of a puberty incongruent with one’s gender identity. Research shows access to puberty blockers during adolescence is associated with a significant decrease in suicidal ideation. Doctors have used these medications safely for decades for cisgender children who experience precocious puberty.” Puberty blockers are 100% percent reversible. In fact, that’s their very purpose. Though gender-affirming surgery on minors is extremely rare, it does happen occasionally with parental consent. Only 0.67% of children under 18 diagnosed with gender dysphoria in the United States, (all age 13 or over), had top surgery (removal of breasts) in 2021, a minuscule number.

Myth: Kids are being rushed into gender-affirming healthcare.

All it takes is the briefest conversation with a trans person to know that this is absolutely untrue. If anything, gender-affirming care is incredibly difficult to find and obtain in many parts of the United States, and when it is available, the waiting lists are often quite long. According to CCN Health, “Researchers from the University of Michigan compiled a directory of clinics that publicly advertised that they provide medical gender-affirming care for patients younger than 18, including puberty-suppressing medications and hormones. They identified a total of 271 gender clinics to serve an estimated 300,000 transgender youth ages 13 to 17 nationwide. But more than a quarter of those clinics  – and more than 89,000 transgender youth – are in states with restrictions on gender-affirming care. ‘It’s a small but growing number of medical and surgical and mental health experts who have been providing this care. And so there have always been waitlists. I’ve watched as waitlists have grown by months to, in some cases, even more than a year to get in to see a specialist,’ said Dr. Scott Hadland, chief of adolescent medicine at Mass General for Children. ‘The pressure is mounting on the clinicians and clinics that are left now.’

Increased travel time to gender-affirming care has ripple effects that multiply quickly. Children having to miss more time at school, or for the adults they’re with to miss work, in order travel these longer distances creates new challenges – and each trip poses a new risk for care to be interrupted.” Being rushed into care is the least of these families’ concerns. Children cannot receive any kind of gender-affirming care without parental consent, and as discussed above, the vast majority of that care is simply the freedom to socially transition: the use of correct pronouns, names, clothing, etc. 

Myth: “Being trans is just trendy now. There didn’t used to be all these transgender people!”

Transgender and gender non-conforming people have existed since the beginning of humankind! According to National Geographic, “There’s ample evidence of gender variance throughout human history. Among the earliest are accounts of gala and galli, priests assigned male at birth who crossed gender boundaries in their worship of a variety of goddesses in ancient Sumer, Akkadia, Greece, and Rome. Other cultures acknowledged a third gender, including two-spirit people within Indigenous communities and Hijra, nonbinary people who inhabit ritual roles in South Asia. Some who challenged the gender binary occupied official roles. During the short reign of the Roman emperor best known as Elagabalus, who ruled from C.E. 218 to 222., the male-born leader adopted feminine dress, requested to be referred to as “she,” and expressed a desire for genital removal surgery. Shunned and stigmatized, Elagabalus was assassinated at age 18 and thrown into the Tiber River.” Trans people are more visible now because it’s safer (though definitely not safe) for them to be so, and because the media has made them a huge talking point.

Myth: “Trans kids are just confused. They’ll grow out of it.”

It’s actually pretty rare for transgender children to change their minds regarding their gender identity as they grow into adolescence and adulthood. According to a recent study published in the journal Pediatrics, 94 percent of the studied group still identified as transgender five years after their initial social transition (at the average initial age of 6.5) No matter what you might think, people, even children, know themselves better than anyone else. 

And if a child does think they’re transgender and does eventually change their mind? That’s absolutely fine too. No harm can come from supporting them and affirming them through that process, and they will never forget the role of a loving, supportive adult in their story.

Myth: “Well people can identify however they want, but I don’t have to like it or support it. I’m entitled to my own opinions!”

When your opinions minimize the humanity and worth of a precious human being, you are not entitled to those opinions. The hard truth is, “transgender and nonbinary young people face elevated risk for depression, thoughts of suicide, and attempting suicide compared to those who are cisgender and straight, including cisgender members of the LGBTQ+ community. A 2020 peer-reviewed study by The Trevor Project’s researchers, published in the Journal of Adolescent Health, found that transgender and nonbinary youth were 2 to 2.5 times as likely to experience depressive symptoms, seriously consider suicide, and attempt suicide compared to their cisgender LGBQ peers.” –The Trevor Project. 

Being trans or non-binary doesn’t make a person inherently high-risk for suicide, but being ostracized from their families and communities because of their gender identity absolutely does. 

Here are some critical facts to keep in mind as we wrap up:

–American Academy of Pediatrics: “There is strong consensus among the most prominent medical organizations worldwide that evidence-based, gender-affirming care for transgender children and adolescents is medically necessary and appropriate. It can even be lifesaving. The decision of whether and when to start gender-affirming treatment, which does not necessarily lead to hormone therapy or surgery, is personal and involves careful consideration by each patient and their family.”

-Guidelines for transgender healthcare are set by the World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH), founded in 1979. WPATH’s 8^th edition of its Standards of Care is 260 pages and was compiled by more than 3,000 members worldwide to provide scientific and medical professional consensus about best practices care. WPATH “envisions a world wherein people of all gender identities and gender expressions have access to evidence-based health care, social services, justice, and equality.”

-The Journal of Adolescent Health found that gender-affirming hormone therapy resulted in lower rates of depression, suicidal thoughts, and suicide attempts among older transgender and nonbinary teens.

(Source: GLAAD)

-According to the Human Rights Campaign, “Every credible medical organization – representing over 1.3 million doctors in the United States – calls for age-appropriate gender-affirming care for transgender and non-binary people. “Transition-related” or “gender-affirming” care looks different for every transgender and non-binary person. Parents, their kids, and doctors make decisions together, and no medical interventions with permanent consequences happen until a transgender person is old enough to give truly informed consent. Some people take medication, and some do not; some adults have surgeries, and others do not. How someone transitions is their choice, to be made with their family and their doctor. Therapists, parents, and health care providers work together to determine which changes to make at a given time that are in the best interest of the child. In most young children, this care can be entirely social. This means: a new name, new hairstyle, new clothing. None of this care is irreversible.”

When our opinions could result in another person’s death, it’s time to carefully reevaluate those opinions, where they come from, and why we believed them in the first place.

_ _ _ 

Before we wrap up, can I take a moment to share how tired I am? Trying to have conversations about trans and non-binary kids and trans/LGBTQ+ rights with conservatives, Christians, or both has proven to be one of the most frustrating and disheartening experiences of my life. For a group of people who claim to be welcoming and loving, they sure kicked me to the curb fast when I started asking questions and supporting the LGBTQ+ community. I’ve never felt so profoundly discarded and rejected from a space that was supposed to be so very safe, a space that I invested most of my life into. It still hurts, and that grief is real. But children are dying out there and misinformation is flying like confetti and the hill I will die on is making sure no one else dies on this hill. Trans kids exist. They are ordinary and extraordinary and magical and beautiful and worthy. They aren’t going anywhere. They deserve our love and affirmation and protection and respect. My deepest wish is that we will all band together to give them the safety and love they so richly deserve.